<em>'Death of a Unicorn'</em> is potential-laden, though unfortunately I just never really got my teeth into this one. The whole set-up is severely underwhelming, the whole plot with the rich family just didn't do it for me. It does pick up at the conclusion, which is where I see the potential. A movie solely about the Kintners and the unicorns could've been ace, especially if it lent into the fantasy side of it; almost if it was <i>(iffy association incoming)</i> <em>'How to Train Your Dragon'</em>-esque, just with all the gore and death that this 2025 releaes does hold. The final scene, as oddly over the top as it is, shows the promise. Paul Rudd and Jenna Ortega are decent in their respective roles, not that I have any core moments to take from either of them here though. The Leopolds, as much as I wish they weren't in the film, are portrayed well enough by those on the screen, Will Poulter is minorly amusing to be fair. I'm sure it'll work for a good many, but I can't say it did so for me.

There is something disappointingly formulaic about this comedy drama that really never quite comes alive. It doesn’t start so promisingly as we meet “Elliot” (Paul Rudd) who is travelling with his estranged teenage daughter “Ridley” (Jenny Ortega) to the remote wilderness home of his would-be benefactors whom he is hoping will give him power of attorney over a large lump of cash. “Odell” (Richard E. Grant) is the patriarch, and on his last legs; “Belinda” (Téa Leoni) is his wife and “Shep” (Will Poulter) his sharp as a spoon son - and “Elliott” is out to impress. Thing is, he is very late for their appointment. Why? Well they hit something on the road to the house and, well it isn’t the kind of thing you meet on the road every day - even if you are Tom Cruise. They assume this critter is no more, so imagine their surprise when it starts to make it’s presence felt in their host’s car park! A bit of research reveals not just what this is, but also that it’s blood could have miraculous healing powers (think phoenix’s tears). Could this be the miracle cure old “Odell” is looking for? Well more likely it is the source of grief for all concerned when it’s mum and dad realise it’s not come home to their cave for supper and set off, quite angrily, to retrieve their offspring. The story tries to introduce a little elemental fantasy to the proceedings, but with the possible exception of Leoni who seems to be prepared to go with the joke, the others aren’t really at the races. Grant resorts to uber-ham mode, Poulter tries but has little to work with and neither Rudd nor Ortega do much with this “Bambi” does “Jurassic Park” enterprise. There’s a fun role for Anthony Carrigan as their “Lurch” style factotum “Griff” - the only one in the whole thing who might actually have a brain, but otherwise this is all a triumph for girth over substance. It’s perfectly watchable, but not a film I expect to recall for long.

Watching Death of a Unicorn was a frustrating and, quite honestly, absurd experience. Instead of connecting with the story, I felt a total disconnect; nothing that happened on screen managed to impact me or spark any interest. The hardest part to stomach was the characters' behavior, which sparked a genuine sense of disgust in me. Their lack of humanity and forced reactions turn the plot into an unpleasant spectacle without a clear purpose. In the end, I’m left with the feeling of having witnessed a pretentious satire that gets lost in its own weirdness, leaving me completely indifferent.